By Emma Pabera

Emma Pabera, a Columban lay missionary, has lived in the male-dominated society of Pakistan from 1990-1993. Emma is now working with the Columban Lay Mission Program in the Philippines. Recently she had a chance to revisit the country and see old friends.

On my return visit to Pakistan, I stayed most of the time in the community in Shadbagh Parish were I was formerly assigned, I became busy going here and there visiting friends. I braved the heat of summer on a motorbike with mixed feelings as I passed along old familiar roads once again – and the old familiar joy of taking one step at a time in living with the beautiful people of Pakistan. The joy of seeing the children whom I helped prepare for their First Communion now grown up to be handsome and pretty teenagers. The joy of eating crispy and delicious paRatha (homemade thin bread cooked in a flat iron frying pan) for breakfast. The fun of sleeping on the rooftop under the starry moonlit nights. The joy of seeing elderly people still around. The joy of working with the youth who are still actively involved in the parish youth program. And most of all the chance to visit the grave of my friend Pilar. (Pilar Tilos was a Filipino missionary who died while on mission of Pakistan.)

As much as there were so many things to be joyful for there were also a lot of frustrations like not being able to speak the local language well and to see the women still suffer under the same male-dominated culture of Pakistan, women have no voice in the society. Most of the time, they are confined in the four corners of their house and their parents choose a husband for them. They are not even allowed to go out without a veil over the face. It was a pity to see my young girl friends who used to go out and play a lot now confined within the four corners of their house – cleaning, sewing, cooking. But what more could I do? I guess I just have to be grateful for the fact that somehow my being part of there lives before, witnessing and living my faith, have made a difference in them.

As a whole, my visit to Pakistan was more than just affirming. It has given me more life and energy and even renewed my desire to go on mission again, Pakistan will always be a home I carry with me in my heart, a home where I have grown up to be the kind of person I am now and every once in a while, I close my eyes and revisit it.