OF LOSING AND GAINING

By May R. Sicat-Saquing

How sweet it was to reach 30! With a very loving and supportive husband who greeted me with aHappy Pearly White Birthday banner, 30 shots of firecrackers, a choir and my pearl-set jewelry (hidden in a cake), what more could I ask for?

I was born at 11:40am via Cesarean section on 5 May 1975. I told the people around me that I’d be one of the luckiest persons on earth when I turned 30 on 05-05-05. Indeed, I was.

To my great surprise I got a new job assignment and was very grateful to be trusted by the school administration. I had the chance to be a part of the training pool in two regional training programs for teachers here in Region 2. I was nominated by my colleagues to be the school’s representative at an award-giving ceremony by Metrobank Foundation honoring outstanding teachers in the country.  I reached my tenth year in my school. Could I ask for more?

But there was more to ask than what I had received. There was a moment when I hoped I could exchange some of my fortunes to cover up for my losses.

If only I hadn’t lost my brother, Julius Caezar Sicat, stabbed to death one night shortly before he was due to be married. I couldn’t bear the pain of seeing him after that incident, pain I’m still recovering from. If only I hadn’t ended some friendships because of lack of communication. If only I had a baby by my 30th birthday.

My pearl year was indeed very memorable.  It made me a stronger person. I had my first taste of going over my life during this year’s Lenten season. I had a flashback of how I’d spent my 30 years in this world. I thank God for extending my contract in St Mary’s. I had pains. I had joys. I lost some, gained some. Now I realize, above my greatest desire to begin a family, I have to submit everything to the One above. I’m writing this reflection, before my 31st birthday. I hope I can have a better relationship with the Creator. Thanking Him is not enough. I hope to become a better person. I don’t intend to be good this year in exchange for a favor. I’ll just take things slowly and thank God for all the trials and graces He will shower on me.

My 30th year taught me to be a more mature individual. I learned to wipe up the spilled milk after I’d cried over it, and to fill another cup. I’m looking forward to another decade of challenges and deep in my heart I know that being more mature now, I can fight the battles of life successfully.