A Life Well Lived
By Beth Sabado
Beth Sabado is a Columban Lay Missionary from Pagadian City. A registered nurse, she is based in Taiwan where she works at the Hope Workers’ Center.
One of the highlights of my stay in Pagadian during my home vacation in the Philippines was the regular gatherings I had with my high school batch-mates. I definitely consider this group to be my second family because of the friendship that we’ve established through the years. With them, I feel comfortable enough to share both the easy and tough times, and just be myself. One day, we agreed to visit a classmate. I was so excited to meet him after 26 years. But just before the visit, some of our batch mates who regularly visit Jovito said, ‘His situation is really unfortunate. You might cry in front of him. Heaven forbid, don’t’.
Most of us have significant dates we remember. For priests and those in religious life religious it would be the dates of their ordination and final vows, for most people their birthdates, for married couple their anniversaries, and so on. These dates are well remembered and observed mostly with a special meal or a celebration. But there are also those who remember significant dates because of a misfortune, a disaster, a loss. Either way, one event in one’s life can mark a new beginning, a new unfolding, a change.
Beth (at the center) with her high school batchmates
A significant date for Jovito Ubanan, a high school classmate who used to be known as one of the tallest and gentlest persons in the class, is 4 January 1989. He was a famous student known for his patience and art works. It was on this day that he was able to stand up and walk for the last time. Who would have imagined that at the age of 20, the dreams and hopes of this college graduating young man would crash down with him when he fell on the ground? Jovito’s world collapsed.
This horrible incident happened while he was visiting an uncle. Jovito and his Dad went out to buy something when all of a sudden he was down on the ground, bleeding. He can still recall the commotion that occurred after he was gunned down by an unknown assailant who quickly got away. He was shot with a .38 caliber gun injuring his spinal column and causing an irreversible paralysis in his lower extremities. Jovito is now 42 and has been confined to bed for 22 years. He cannot think of any reason for being shot and believes it was a case of mistaken identity.
The day we visited Jovito, he was lying in bed. He still looked the same, his skin was fair,his hair neatly combed, he was smiling, laughing, and greeting us by name. He reached out his arms and hugged each one of us. He said, ‘You all look older, I missed all of you’. When I saw him, I was struck with what I saw and struggled not to cry. I saw near his bed a table, a rice cooker, bottled water. By the wall over the headboard was a tiny mirror, a small sliding window, some books. A Bible was placed on an improvised bookshelf just above the window. Different electrical switches, a sound system, and an altar were on the right side of the wall. An innovative electric charcoal fan that he designed was located near his foot. And, all around, the room was filled with his artworks. My sighs were covered by the laughter of our friends and the exchange of stories of our years in high school; how some of us escaped, cut classes, tricked our teachers, how some classmates copied the wrong and right answers and how others knelt and prayed the rosary, especially after being caught late for the flag ceremony. It was a precious time for us recalling all our carefree moments in high school.
Jovito at the rightmost lying on his bed
After our bouts of laughter ended, a deafening silence followed. To break it, I took the courage to ask how he had been. His reply was short and simple, ‘Life must go on’. I was amazed at how he spontaneously answered my question; his eyes expressed a genuine peace. Before we left, the group gathered in prayer then took some photos as a remembrance of that sacred and memorable afternoon. After a few days, I returned to Jovito’s place to bring him copies of the pictures and to ask his permission if I could write this article about him. With all humility, he said yes.
What deeply amazed me was that, despite his condition, Jovito is living on his own, independent of his family. Both his parents are aging, and are taken care of by one of his siblings. His other siblings have their own families. He earns a living by managing a welding shop that was established for him by his father. He has three full-time workers. His physical condition does not hinder him from living his life to the fullest. Seeing him in this condition was overwhelming yet inspiring. This man who is physically challenged is far more productive compared to a completely able-bodied person who easily takes his God-given strength for granted and not use it.
Jovito cannot walk nor stand anymore, yet his inner strength makes him one of the strongest men I know. Despite going through a lot of turmoil in his life, he has the courage and determination to face life head on. He was crushed to the ground, but his strong heart allowed him to soar high above his circumstances. Jovito has grieved the loss of the life he couldn’t have when he lost control of parts of his body, but he is determined not to let it engulf him. There have been times when, like one of Jesus’ apostles, Thomas, Jovito doubted and questioned God. But even with all the uncertainties, he clings to his faith and hope in God. He has forgiven the man who shot him and having done so feels free within himself. He is at peace with his past and how it has changed him.
You may email Beth Sabado at bethsablm@yahoo.com