By Fr Joseph Panabang SVD
Mag-Beer Muna Tayo
His name is George but I have forgotten his surname. He was a police inspector, and his most tedious work which he dreaded most was autopsy. In a big hospital in Kumasi, regional capital of Ashante Region, he was describing in vivid detail his horrible experience in one of the morgues where 20 to 30 cadavers were just lined up waiting to be claimed. He was once called to identify a corpse. He went around the different rooms, squeezing in his feet between corpses lined up one after the other.
As he continued his rounds in the big morgue, he would meet person along the corridor from time to time. He would feel eerie not knowing whether the person he met along the corridor was dead or alive. “I will never go inside the morgue again,” he said. However, people who have been working in the morgue for years do not mind putting their beer beside the corpses or inside the refrigerator of the dead.
Devil Mountain
Certain place here is called the “Devil Mountain”, a rocky mountain road with three curves. The second curve is so sharp that drivers not familiar with the place will easily meet an accident. In the latest vehicular accident here 35 people died on the spot. Because of the frequent accidents, the Chief requested all churches in Kintampo to go and offer sacrifices to appease the Devil. I bluntly refused him and explained that it is the second curve to cause the accident.”
To avoid being too academic and the argument, I asked our Seminary artist to make a signboard with the picture of a human skull on it. Then we placed the signboard at the mouth of the second curve. Since then no more accidents occurred. One member of the Seventh-Day Adventist Church was so impressed that he gave the credit to the Ministry of Public Works and Highways. But Mr. Gabriel Dankwa, my catechist, vehemently protested. There ensued a heated debate which nearly turned into a religious one, until Mr. Dankwa forced the person to read what was written on the concrete base of the signboard. The person could not believe his eyes when he read my name and the names of the other workers. Then meekly said to Mr. Dankwa, “I’m delighted that Fr. Joe has time for a project like this.”
Male Chauvinism
One priest during our gathering dominated by the Sisters remarked blithely, “You know, God created the world and rested; God created woman and since then no one has rested.” “Except the men!” one of the sisters added with a knowing look at the other sisters.
Free Bicycles
In one of my villages, Kawumpe, a new evangelical church leader came and promised bicycle to all who would join him. People including some Catholics indeed flocked into the new religion – the only religion that guarantees salvation. “What do you promise us?” the remaining Catholics asked me. “I cannot promise you bicycles; I can only promise you eternal life,” I answered. After two months, the new church collapsed and the founder left with enough money to travel.
Split Loyalty
Bro. Marcus Hipolito, SVD from Brazil and I were watching on TV the World Under 17 Football Championship in Ecuador between Ghana and Brazil. It was really exciting. Both teams were giving their best. Bro. Marcus naturally cheered for Brazil. But in the middle of the game a Brazilian player in front of the spectators pulled the shirt of a running Ghanaian player who was tow steps ahead and poised for a perfect goal. At that very moment Bro. Marcus cursed the Brazilian player for such disgraceful act and shifted immediately his allegiance to the Ghanaian team—would you call that inculturation?
Groundnut Soup
“Would you like some groundnut soup?” the waitress asked me as I sat down at Tata Restaurant in Sunyani, capital of Brongahafo Region. “Groundnut soup?” You mean you make soup out of the ground?” She just stared at me bewildered. Sensing she had token me too seriously. I smiled and said, “Yes, I’ll have some groundnut soup but light and without pepper, please.”
Here in Ghana peanut is called groundnut. So, groundnut soup means made out of ground peanut. There are two types: heavy and light. Bout both are so delicious that, as they say her. “You will forget your wife”. Hence, “Don’t Mind Your Wife Chop Bar” is a common name for sidewalk restaurants specializing in groundnut soup. “To Chop” here means to eat. Lets go and chop” means let’s go and eat.