By Elvy Egama-Oliver

Year 2007: The year I wrote ‘Letter to My Brother Kokong’ that was published in Misyon in November-December that year. I had no idea what could be next; all I knew was that the story had never really ended. The letter only concluded with a sad, haunting plea asking my brother to come back.

Being used to God acting rather slowly and thoroughly when it comes to a big ‘request’, I found that the year 2008 would unexpectedly bring an answer and end the ‘fight’. We felt God was rather swift with His answers. But how can anything go wrong with God? We felt exalted and at the same time humbled by His divine justice.

And so this time my article is no longer addressed to my brother, but outside.

When I made the draft of my first article, I wrote it on the feast of St Blaise, 3 February 2007. I did not choose the date, it just happened to be the feast day of the saint. After I wrote the draft of this second article, I looked over as to when I wrote that first one so I could have a point of reference, a comparison of sorts, a kind of measure for the events that transpired afterwards.

It is, again, the feast of St Blaise, 3 February. 

Really? Can this be really happening? Was the timing more than a mere coincidence? I do not even know the exact role of St Blaise here; all I know is he is a saint who cures throat illnesses. And all I wanted was to write. So I just left it to God to answer me later.

My letter to my brother ended with the plea, ‘Kuya, please come back.’

God answered for him, and He chose to do it a year later, 2008.

First, father died suddenly of a heart attack, and barely three months later Kuya was arrested and jailed. At first it felt as though God was heedless of our prayers for Kuya’s release, with the ‘hacking’ sound of His divine, uncompromising ‘hatchet’, reverberating through our entire beings. One blow after another, leaving us gasping for the right words to speak of everything. We could only stare at each other, my closest sister and I. Words uttered were not just right, or so it seemed. It was only in the silence of our hearts that we could really understand. We were witnessing the unfolding of God’s divine justice.

All the events happened so swiftly that I had to sit down in order to think through it all, as I tried to piece all of it together. When things began to settle down I realized I was too wide of the mark in the way I thought of how God did everything.

After my brother’s sudden arrest and imprisonment we began to understand why Papa had to go away first. With deep gratitude we realized that he had been spared the pain of seeing the only boy in the family handcuffed, swiftly sentenced by a judge, and jailed. We were spared this heart-wrenching sight too as only close relatives were there to witness the tearful event because of the sudden changes in schedule that made it impossible for us to be there on time. Honestly, I had asked God why He would not allow me to witness this when I could bear it, or so I thought. Only later I realized I was too presumptuous and might have fainted had I been there. Since God is always the better judge, I relished the consolation that He had very good reasons for sparing us after all.

On Papa’s death? While still waiting for the future of my wayward brother to grow bright, the good Lord took my silently agonizing father to eternal bliss. He was only 68 years old, fit and trim. Too early maybe, but we were relieved that his pain had finally come to an end. Papa’s face, as I stood beside his cold body at the morgue, was so calm, so light. There was even a faint smile on his lips. I managed to utter only two sentences before tears fell, ‘Your journey is going to be good, Papa,’ and ‘God has forgiven you’.

Thinking back, I can only marvel at how God swiftly did everything since I was accustomed to Him acting in a so-slow manner, glaring at Him in impatience whilst praying and wondering why He seemed so slow. Was God ‘extra’ favorable to my family? I am tempted to spiritually brag. Whatever His reasons, He sure did it so swiftly. Had Papa, near to God already, made such a good impression on Him that this big favor was granted us? Whatever the reason, my father was a good man and may be gathering the spiritual riches he had stored in heaven. And we, his family left, are benefiting.

My brother’s final sentence was something we knew could happen, though we did hope it would be an acquittal. But God cannot be mocked, justice must be served. And so when we finally learned of the sentence, we knew the fight was all over. God had finally acted.

What consoled us was that, at least, Kuya may have lessened his time in purgatory by already serving part of it here on earth. A pain that is a relief, a penalty that is also a grace.

Once, reflecting about my brother’s fate while on my way to work, I silently asked God what we could look forward to. A vehicle then passed by and painted on its side was a picture of a soaring eagle and a Scripture reference: Isaiah 40:31. I noted the particular passage and looked for it in the Bible. It says, ‘But those who trust in the Lord for help will find their strength renewed. They will rise on wings like eagles; they will run and not get weary; they will walk and not grow weak’.
Reflecting inwardly, I knew the passage referred to the future, especially the future of my brother. It gave me tremendous relief because the Holy Spirit, who is the source of the inspiration, never lies. I may not fully understand yet what the passage has in store for us, but knowing that the Lord had answered my silent prayer was enough assurance of His consistency, that

He is ever watchful, ever loving, ever merciful, and that He is taking care of my brother.

It will be some time before Kuya will be finally free, and we earnestly hope that it will not be time wasted, because it is our prayer that during his prison term he will have a full conversion. And though the fight may be finally over, yet we know that the journey never ends until everything rests in God.