By Carmela Caringal

Just as the sun gracefully rises every morning to bring sunshine on the faces of wizened folk, my seven-year-old- daughter Mir-Isabel never fails to bring an aching kind of happiness to my heart. She couldn’t have come at a more opportune time. She was like a ray of hope in an utterly miserable and painful situation.

Longing for Children

You see. I married rather late. I got busy with my career. I became so successful that I almost forgot marriage in my plans. Yet somehow deep down in my heart I desired to have a family of my own. Then I met Tony and so I decided to settle down. We got married on October 10, 1981. Both of us came from large families – my husband has eight siblings while we are seven in my own family. So it was only natural for us to expect a large family. We decided to build a comfortable house, big enough for many children.

Medical Problem

But things did not exactly turn out as we had planned. I did not conceive right away because I had practically all the ailments of the reproductive system such as an inverted uterus, hormonal imbalance, irregular blood circulation, endometriosis, and blocked fallopian tubes. Besides, I always stressed out, juggling my time between my job as a manager and my duties as married woman whose biological clock was ticking away rapidly.

I was racing against time. And maybe, just maybe, rebelling against God. I resented the fact that there we were, capable of becoming responsible parents and God wouldn’t send us a single child to care for. But those who seemed to be careless enough to push their children to work out in the street had more children than they could manage. It’s so unfair, I cried bitterly.

Endless Teasing

It didn’t help that every one I met during family gatherings endlessly teased me about it. How can you be childless?” they asked. “It doesn’t run in our family?” I was so humiliated it felt like a sore wound that refused to get healed. My husband and I became desperate. We consulted every doctor who was worth his salt on possible solution to our problem. We tried all sorts of things but all for naught.

Something Happened

In 1985, after almost four years of asking God for a child, I experienced something that changed the way I looked at my problem. A friend invited my husband and me to the FLAME Prayer Rally. KERYGMA editor Bo Sanchez led the worships. He invited us to come to Jesus and surrender our lives, our problems to Him who had promised to carry our burdens for us. Bo then led us to sing the song Here I Am.

Powerfully, the crowd sang, “Here I am Lord, Is it I Lord? I have heard you calling in the night... I will go Lord, if you lead me... I will hold Your people in my heart...?

I couldn’t sing. It was as if there was a lump in my throat. I just stood there listening to the song until I was hearing no longer the crowd but God Himself speaking the lyrics of the song to me. Tears rolled down my checks and I cried silently as I came to know about God and His loving grace.

A Tumor

In August that same year, two weeks before my birthday, I went for a check up and my doctor found a tumor in my uterus. He suggested an operation to remove the tumor.

But fired with my newfound faith, I thought I should wait a while and trust God for my healing. I did what before would have been unthinkable: I resigned form y job. I thought respite from my hectic work schedule would make me well and result in the baby. I had longed for.

However, by the summer of 1987, the pain in my uterus intensified. Finally, humiliating as it was, I borrowed money for my operation on June 29, 1987.

By 1988, this time, I had made friends with people in the Charismatic Renewal such as Lito Urgino, one of the elders of Couples for Christ, who was then executive director of the Lay Formation Center at San Carlos Seminary in Makati. He advised me to take the Catholic Lay Evangelization Program (CLAYE) which, among other things, taught me to rely on God and wait on Him for a perfect solution to my problem.

It was with expectant faith that I waited for God leading. After deep prayer, I decided to go back to the corporate world in October 1988. From then on, blessings came my way one after the other. The best was one I received in 1990.

No Adoption

Fr. Francis Gustilo, a Salesian priest friend who knew that we’d always wanted a child, casually suggested to my husband to try adoption. Tony related to me later that he simply found himself saying that we were considering it. This was strange because, actually, I had thought of the idea myself and had brought it up to him. But he categorically told me he was against the idea. He did not want us to adopt anyone not of our kin and he changed the subject every time I pressed him to make a decision.

Prayer Worked

I prayed that my husband would change his mind. And the Lord heard my prayers! On February 23, 1990, Tony and I went to the Kaisahang Buhay Foundation (KBF) and applied for adoption. Everything went smoothly. On June 17, 1990 – Father’s Day –we waited with bated breath at the KBF lobby, holding hands and praying. Soon, a nun came out to the lobby holding a baby. She came near me and handed the baby to me.

We are all Adopted

With arms trembling and tears welling up in my eyes, I cuddled her – our five-and-a-half month old baby girl. Guess what? She smiled at us beautifully.

Then, it dawned on us: why didn’t it occur to us before? Tony. Myself. All of us are God’s adopted sons and daughters. And He has given us this baby to adopt our own.

We named our baby girl Mir-Isabel. And she will always remind us of God’s constant love.