Inspired By St Bernadette

By Father Chris Saenz SSC

Father Saenz, who spent part of his formation in the Philippines and has written for Misyon before, is Vice Director of the Columbans in Chile and Rector of student formation there.

Father Chris on his ordination day

Q. How and when did you experience God calling you to the priesthood?

A. I first received my call to the priesthood when I was about 20 or 21. I was working for UPS and going to college part-time, studying engineering and computers. I had attended the US Merchant Marine Academy, but was expelled because of low grades. I hadn’t attended Mass since I was 14. I was living from one weekend to the next, looking for the next party and taking nothing seriously. I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life.

One day I went to a used book sale at a hotel and came across The Song of Bernadette by Franz Werfel. What interested me was the author, a German Jew escaping the Nazis during World War II and given shelter in Lourdes, France, where he promised if he ever made it out alive, he would write a book about the place.

At this point I had no idea that the book was about St Bernadette and the apparitions at Lourdes in 1858. I figured if a German Jew escaping Nazism found the story worth writing, I should read it. I devoured the book and was intrigued by the history of Lourdes. Later, I rented the old black-and-white movie starring Jennifer Jones and Vincent Price and found it marvelous.

The simplicity, courage and humbleness of St Bernadette made me question my own purpose in life and how I was living. What was I doing for the kingdom of God? How would people remember me? What good was I bringing into this world? From that moment on, I began reading books about other saints and found the desire to be like them.

Soon after, I felt the call to return to the Church. After making my first confession in many years, I became active in various church ministries. From that, my desire to be a priest began.

Q. Who were major influences in your decision to become a missionary priest?

A. When I first received my vocation to the priesthood, I knew instantly that I wanted to be a missionary and not a diocesan priest. I had grown up near the Columban US Region office inNebraska, and was familiar with many of the Columbans and their stories. I grew up listening to their travels and adventures in other lands. I heard about the pains and joys of missionary life. Also, my father was an US Air Force officer and spoke about his many travels to different lands and cultures. Because of these influences I had the desire to see new lands and to experience new cultures and new ways of life.

Q. Why did you choose the Missionary Society of St. Columban?

A. I chose to be a Columban not because I grew up around them but because of their practical spirituality. When I became interested in the priesthood, I looked at other missionary groups and visited them and talked with the vocation directors. However, the Columban spirituality kept calling me back. I liked the Columbans’ practical, down-to-earth spirit. They are always the missionaries who believe in living and working alongside the people they minister to. Most Columbans don’t envision being in high offices, just being in the trenches, the front lines. This I like: a simple, humble approach with the people.

Also, the Columbans’ famous hospitality attracted me. They believe in being good hosts and enjoy entertaining others. A Columban is never known to refuse anybody hospitality. This was always a part of the Columban spirituality.

Q. Was there an episode, event or incident that affected you in a positive way and that reaffirmed your decision during your formation for the priesthood?

A. The most important part of my formation years was my overseas training program. During the years of preparation and formation for missionary life, a young Columban must spend two years doing missionary work. This exposes the young Columban to the work of the Columbans as well as the hardships, struggles and joys of mission life. It helps him to decide if he wants to permanently commit himself to the missionary way of life.

I was sent to Chile and worked in the southern rural part of the country with the indigenous people called the Mapuches. I grew up in the city and had never lived in a small town or isolated, rural areas. The life was difficult for me to adjust to. After my first year in Chile, I became very frustrated with myself. I felt that I didn’t speak the language well, I didn’t understand the people or the culture, and my spiritual life was dry and dark. I found moments where I would just lay in bed and cry at night and not know why I was crying. I seriously considered leaving Chile and the Columbans.

One of my ministries was with a group of teenagers preparing for confirmation. One day after Mass, some of them came over and asked me what was wrong, since I looked depressed. I let it all spill out. I told them that I wasn’t the person to teach them. It would be better if a Chilean taught them, as I felt inadequate and no one understood me. Then one of the teenagers said, ‘That’s why we like you, because you’re like us. Our parents don’t understand us, and the older people don’t understand us. But you understand us because you struggle like us.’

This hit me like a ton of bricks. I never thought I was actually touching people with my inadequacies. Then I realized that mission was not about success or failure, but about the love of God. The youth in my confirmation class loved me in spite of what I could or couldn’t do. And I loved them. I only discovered this while on mission.

Q. Is there anything you want Columban supporters to know?

A. I truly believe we’re living in a great moment of transition in the Catholic Church. It is a scary but exciting moment, because we don’t know where it will lead us. But the Christian faith is not about certainty, but about love. It is about always having faith.

I believe that this great moment is a transition of the Church into the global Church where all cultures and diversity will be respected and share a unified embrace. I am looking forward to all the different countries, cultures and churches coming forward and uniting in love. I am looking forward to participating in and promoting the mission of the Church.

Father Chris Saenz was ordained in 2000 and first went to Chile on mission in 1995. You may write him at Padres de San Columbano, Casilla 311, Correo 22, SANTIAGO, CHILE, or email him atsaenz1967@hotmail.com . The official website for the shrine in Lourdes is http://www.lourdes-france.org/ .