The Heart's Hunger
By Junjun Paña Bonhayag
The story of my life started when my mother and father fell in love and got married in Immaculate Conception Parish, Catigbian, Bohol, in 1970. I came into existence on 3 September 1983.
My childhood years had been chock-full of historic bits and pieces – a life mixed with happiness and sadness, love and hatred, wellness and suffering. Though a weak and sickly child, my parents unwaveringly took good care of me.
Once I was hospitalized for a week. Members of our family, except my parents, felt hopeless about my health situation. Despite my pneumonia, my loving parents enthusiastically continued their unalterable love and care.
I can still remember my compassionate mother and my protective father during my agony in the hospital room. Their loving presence psychologically increased my vim and vigor until I recovered.
I was still young when my parents, particularly my mother, introduced me to the Church. They would always bring me when they attended Mass on Sundays. Reaching the age of maturity, I was influenced by my classmates to join some religious activities in our school and parish. As a freshman in our parochial school, I entered church organizations like the Knights of the Altar, Youth for Christ and Parish Youth Ministry. Moreover, I joined some school organizations also for I delighted in serving that way. That opened new horizons for me.
Fortunately, when I was a teenager, God gave me a good life and a healthy body. This chapter of my life was in contrast to my childhood experience. More than this, I became a gung-ho athlete in school, competing in various places with diverse long-distance runners. My heart’s hunger, which I experienced within me so many times, was overshadowed by great fun and elation.
When I reached second year high school, our parish priest, who was also our school director, offered me the option of living in the convent. There I became acquainted with priestly life. It was in this encounter that my desire for the priesthood progressed. There I learned simple and complicated things. I was taught the spirit of service and leadership and gained deep values. I was jubilant. The hunger of my heart was satisfied and fulfilled.
But having been victorious and pleased, the desire for priesthood slowly diminished. My mind was diverted to other concerns. I wanted to take a Bachelor of Science degree in Marine Transportation in PMI Colleges. I also wanted to join the PMA in Baguio City for I had a little background in military discipline from our Citizen Army Training in high school.
There started my confusions and doubts. My mind wandered, my heart starved. I was caught in a dilemma. I was wandering not knowing where to go. I was like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour but could not find one. I grumbled and moaned. I already had something in me but then it was not enough to fill the weary and thirsty soul – my hungry heart. I wanted to have an end to my endeavor but I could not find it. In my happy moments, I experienced a strange sense of limitation and of longing for something else.
My heart’s hunger began to be filled when I met some seminarians from various seminaries having their vocations campaign in November 1999. I came to see that the hunger deep in my heart was a hunger for God. So with the desire to follow Christ, I took the entrance examinations for the Barnabite Order in Manila and for Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary in Tagbilaran City, Bohol. Thank God, I passed all the requirements for the two minor seminaries prior to my entrance.
I am happy living in the seminary for seven long years. I am blissful entrusting my whole life to the priestly vocation. I graduated from college at the Immaculate Heart of Mary Seminary in Bohol in March 2004. Now I’m pursuing my theological studies in Cagayan de Oro City – where my heart belongs.
My heart’s hunger is filled, eventually, by God alone.
You may email the author at musuq-05@yahoo.com.