It’s Nice To Be Missed
By Sr. Teresita Benitez, FMM
Mission Canada
I received my first mission appointment to Canada in 1982 after living 31 years as a member of the Congregation of the Franciscan Missionaries of Mary involved in the educational apostolate in the Philippines.
Ministry at the Nursing Homes
Falling snow is a beauty. This I experienced on my arrival in Montreal, Quebec. For three months I was acclimatized and inculturated into Canadian life – experience the tail of the winter season; meeting and getting to know my Canadian FMM sisters in Quebec, Ontario and Manitoba provinces. What an immense country Canada is! After some time I received my mandate from the Bishop to be pastoral carer, a chaplain to nursing homes for the elderly.
Life in the Nursing Homes
Whereas in the Philippines, I was with the young and the restless, the vigorous and the ambitious, in the nursing home setting, daily I meet the elderly in the fall or winter of their lives. Some have lost their mobility or their memory; many are arthritis laden; some are paranoid, or have Alzheimer’s. They are all beautiful in this stage of their life – they have matured as they have passed through the different seasons of life and now they are waiting to enter into immortality. I am a friend to them, a companion, a listener. I try to be present to them and to a very faint degree, to share with them Christ’s compassion. In most of the nursing homes there’s weekly Mass. To the Catholics, I give Holy Communion once a week. At the nursing homes, I preside monthly at the Sunday Interfaith (Ecumenical) Prayer Service. Twice a month I preside at the Communion service. When a resident is passing away, I'm called for palliative care. I join the grieving at funerals especially if the deceased has no family members or has just one or two.
Looking Back
With the elderly, I help them to reminisce on their past. It’s amazing to note that those who still have their lucidity can recall their struggles and hardships in the 1920’s and 1930’s – years of the Depression; years when there was poor means of transportation, no social welfare and no communication like we have now.
When our Cathedral was rededicated, the Diocese was in search of persons to award gold medals to for meritorious service. My two nominees were accepted. One was able to attend the award ceremony while the other received it at her bedside because her passing away was nearing.
It’s Nice to be Missed
Most civic holidays are scheduled on Mondays. So the first civic holiday I had, I took for my rest day. When I returned the following Thursday to the Nursing Home, a resident reproached me: “Yes, Sister, you had your day off and you starved us from receiving Jesus.” It’s nice to be missed.
A 75-year-old resident has poor eyesight. Her roommate, an 85-year-old, had cataract surgery and her vision improved. I asked the 75-year-old if she’s going for surgery too. She responded, at my age what do I need my sight for? I know the government pays for it but somebody younger could use the government money and use her good vision for service to society.”
I once assisted a woman dying of cancer. She was lucid to the end. When her passage to the Father was nearing, she fixed her eyes on a figure in the distance, smiled and said audibly, “The going is good.”
Coincidence
On one of my birthdays which fell on Saturday, Our Lady’s Day, I had the inspiration to visit an elderly lady who was hospitalized. She was already in the Intensive Care Unit. Being a pastoral care giver, I was allowed to visit her. I told her my name, prayed over her and invited her to pray with me the “Hail Mary’ in her heart. At the end she had a sweet smile, a few moments more of silence, and she breathed her last.
What a beautiful birthday gift. I had the sight of Mary English Dick passing to our Father’s mansion! In her long years at the Nursing Home we had the bond of friendship. She was the same lady who refused to use the government’s money for her eyesight. The same lady who received a gold medal for her pioneering and long service in education in the Calgary Diocese. I said a prayer, “Let my passage to you Lord, be like that of Mary Dick.”