I Have Become The Friend Of Pain

By Sr. Mercedes Castellano, CM

Life in the mission is indeed a continues self-emptying, a suspension of our own ideas and knowledge. It is here I have experienced my own handicaps, my own paralysis in so many ways. I am working a Hua Kuang Center for Development of Mentally Retarded Children and Adults in Taiwan. I have been in this Catholic-run Institution from its beginnings; I have journeyed with this Center in all of its hardships and difficulties beginning from zero up to now. At present we have 177 student-individuals. I can them individuals rather than handicaps, lest we forget they are persons.

We give them a normal atmosphere

We try to expose them to society, providing them with a ‘normal’ atmosphere where they can be ‘in’ and ‘with’ it without being abhorred and rejected. Slums and shanties are not common in Taiwan, as it is highly progressive nation; however, being handicapped in itself is a tremendous pain and suffering both for the individuals and their families.

Appreciating my own self

In my years of dealing with these individuals (Down’s syndrome, cerebral palsy, autistic, epileptics, brain damaged cases), I have been able to enter into there individual world. I have seen helplessness in them which has also led me to see my own helplessness and littleness. They have led me to a beautiful appreciation of my own normality, and the graces and gifts which God has given me which at times. I fail to acknowledge. These people have taught me the virtue of childlike simplicity and dependence on Him alone. Learning the difficult Chinese language is my first handicap because of which I experience so much humiliation. Not even my masteral degree in psychology could give me any security.

We are never incapacitated

Since our Center aims at developing these individuals, we have various kinds of training for them where they can become better persons and people in society. We try to form them spiritually, socially and physically. They are never useless; though incapacitated in many ways, they can be productive too. They are having classes in pottery, cooking, sewing, music, and other training in basic self-help-skills (bathing, grooming, toileting), laundry-training, farming, others are even employed in furniture, electric and noodle factories. They receive their own salaries. From this I have learned that we are never incapacitated if we only allow our own giftedness to come out.

I move on

Yes, it takes great courage and faith to move on in this kind of mission. Each day is a day of self-empty vessel waiting for God to fill it with His plan for me. I have learned to love pain and become its friend. Despite all this, I move on, inspired and revitalized from the positive energies I get from these lovable individuals. They are so cute and innocent looking free from cares of the world. I am learning the spirituality of St. Therese, the Little Flower, through my experiences with them. My day will always be filled with roses, beautiful and thorny at the same time. Yet, I move on inspired too by the words of our Father Founder Francisco Palau, OCD): “I will go where the glory of God calls me.”