By ‘D.J.C.’

Our Hideaway is a venue for the youth to express themselves and to share with our readers their mind, their heart and their soul.

The author is a single young man, a guidance counselor.

I now recognize that love is the most wonderful thing of all. I know it sounds corny, but you may search the far corners of the universe and you won’t find anything more wonderful than love. And the only ones capable of loving are humans. That is what makes man so special and higher than all other earthly beings. Animals are capable only of producing and their ability to feel is restricted to physical pain only. They act from instinct. But we humans are gifted not only with the power of intellect but with susceptible emotions as well. This is why people have the tendency to become overwhelmingly attached and in turn it becomes awfully painful to become detached.

The Return of the Prodigal Son (detail), The Face of the Father
Rembrandt, c.1669 [Web Gallery of Art]

As I go more deeply in my thoughts, I ask myself how much I know about love. What is it really? How does it affect people? Yet my sole purpose is to know why such a wonderful thing can turn into such unbearable pain. I grew up in a family where my parents often had misunderstandings that led to serious fights. Thus, my siblings and I lack the affection of a true and complete family. We became closer to our mother and ended up hating our father.

As I reflect on this, I have become more troubled now than earlier in my life, for I might already be losing that sense of the ideal family I used to want. Nevertheless, it has led me to realize one thing: love will not last if not taken care of, probably the most common reason why so many couples separate.

Love can lead to many attachments and then make things special. I have been a witness to and have even been the reason for the pain of others by virtue of loving. We can live without loving but we cannot continue existing without it. As C.S. Lewis said, ‘Friendship is unnecessary, like philosophy, like art . . . It has no survival value; rather it is one of those things which give value to survival’. Furthermore, in love you cannot just simply end things. The source of it may be long gone yet love remains and that which remains is what causes the torment.

A friend once told me this reality: ‘The truth is that everybody is going to hurt you in the end, but you just have to find someone worth the pain’. True, even our parents, our siblings, our closest friend, and even our soul mate will, intentionally or not, hurt us in the end. Yet the reason we are hurt is because of love and attachment. Thus, love isn't only romantic nor it is all contentment and inspiration, it is also displeasure and longing and also, in most cases, if not all, something that can bring excruciating pain.

I know that as I continue living in this world, I will discover more what love really is, though I feel that there is something very strong and so unfathomable in it just like the example given to us by Jesus, what his love for us led him to do and then how that love has changed our history, our present and our future.

At this point I want to make clear that this isn't an exploration on what romantic love is or how to love. This is for all the people that I have hurt. Let this be my plea for forgiveness, a sincere expression of apology written with love.

LOVE

By George Herbert (1593-1632)

Love bade me welcome; yet my soul drew back,
Guilty of dust and sin.
But quick-eyed Love, observing me grow slack
From my first entrance in,
Drew nearer to me, sweetly questioning
If I lack'd anything.

'A guest,' I answer'd, 'worthy to be here:'
Love said, 'You shall be he.'
'I, the unkind, ungrateful? Ah, my dear,
I cannot look on Thee.'
Love took my hand and smiling did reply,
'Who made the eyes but I?'

'Truth, Lord; but I have marr'd them: let my shame
Go where it doth deserve.'
'And know you not,' says Love, 'Who bore the blame?'
'My dear, then I will serve.'
'You must sit down,' says Love, 'and taste my meat.'
So I did sit and eat.