Buying a Bride

Sr. Mary Jeanette Matela, a Hoy Spirit Sister who works in Papua New Guinea, focuses on a custom degrading to women which she and her community are hoping to change.

Marylyn
On my way to the convent after my 12:30 P.M. class, I met Marylyn.

Pidgin Talk
Have you eaten yet, Marylyn?” I asked her in Pidgin English. “Ya sista, mi kaikai pinis. Lukim!” (Yes, Sister, I have already eaten. Look!) she replied showing her tummy. Nau yu mas slip, malolo liklik na bai yu kamap bikpela meri,” (Now you must sleep, rest a little and you will grow big) I suggested to her. Without hesitation Marylyn replied, “Tiam mi kanap bikpela, daddy bilong mi bai I baim mi.” (When I become ready for marriage my daddy will sell me for my bride –prize)

Buying Wives
I was flabbergasted. In Pidgin English, the word for presenting a bride – prize are “baim meri,” literally, “buying wife”. And Marylyn is only three years! Already she is aware of her problematic status a woman in her society. She comes from Chimbu, one of the highland provinces in Papua New Guinea.

Right to Bash
In my Business Ethics class, I once had a students discuss the pride –price, they would buying their wives and consequently, would own them. They could do anything with them – whatever they liked – including bashing or beating them up. The higher the education of the woman, the higher the bride price. Therefore, most women are not allowed to go for further studies because no man could afford their bride- price.

Women’s Low Status
A study conducted by the Melanesia Institute showed that throughout most of the Melanesia men tend to exercise political control in the public realm, and to take a more central part on the public stage than women. In many of the highland societies, women’s social status is relatively low and they are considered very dangerous and polluting to men. The male-female relationship has been described as antagonistic. In such societies women’s public role in leadership is very limited.

 Change Coming
However, it is already obvious that in the future, Papua New Guinea women’s leadership roles in the public sphere of social life are likely to increase. There two women members of the Parliament. Women’s movements have been strong for some time

Dream for a New World
This is why we the Divine Word Institute have a special interest in providing educational opportunities for women. We encourage women to improve their status in society and to take an active part in the nation’s life and so bring about a community in which justice reigns.